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EXCERPT:

We stared at one another and as we did, something low in my belly tightened and I was mesmerised. The blazing sun through the windows made his eyes glitter. Before I knew what was happening, we were fighting for kisses. Violently tasting and trying to own one another. He held tight to my hair at the sides of my head while I pressed my hands to his pecs. Our tongues, teeth and lips weren’t concentric.

His lips travelled the length of my throat and he kissed my heavily exposed cleavage, groaning against my flesh, setting me alight. His hands wandered up and down my sides, tracing the outer curves of my breasts. I could have stayed there all day, kissing him.

Except then he got scary again and threw himself away from me, complaining under his breath, muttering words not meant for me. He ran both hands through his short hair and sure seemed tense. He looked out of the window at his side, looking anywhere but at me.

“We should get some coffee,” he mumbled.

“Okay,” I agreed, though frightened.

Coffee was what Americans did all the time, right? They just ‘got coffee’ to chill themselves out. They did coffee. ‘We’ll do coffee,’ like, ‘We’ll do brunch.’ That type of casual thing. I was clutching at straws—was he taking me to coffee to say we were a big mistake waiting to happen?

He drove the car away from the curb and I couldn’t help but notice he was driving angrily. In fact everything in his stance and expression was angry. It made me feel really uncomfortable and I didn’t like it.

“Why are you being an arsehole?” I mumbled with my hand over my mouth, looking out the window at all the sights meant to be thrilling me. You know, foreign stuff that’s ace just because it’s foreign. I couldn’t care less about where I was truthfully, I just needed to draw a line under what this man did to me… get answers on why he was behaving this way.

He gunned the car harder and I asked, “How far to this bloody coffee place?” How much more terror can I take? He was seriously driving recklessly, taking corners too hard, punching the brakes with his foot, fists grinding against the wheel.

He didn’t relent and that’s when I snapped. “Stop!”

He didn’t react.

“Fucking stop or I’ll…”

He pulled into the sidewalk sharply and glared, “You’ll what?”

My hands were up against the roof of the car, bracing myself—but for what? Anxiety must have taken over. “I grew up surrounded by violence and I will not tolerate your caveman behaviour. If you’re gonna be a cock, then be a cock on your own time. Otherwise just tell me why you’re acting weird.”

“Weird?”

“Yeah, weird. Why are you so angry?” I glanced at him, realising I could take my hands down. I folded my arms and took a deep breath, levelling my eyes to his. “Is that why you box? It’s like… the way you look, right now… it’s scaring me. You’re a coiled spring, desperate to release. Admit it.”

He bent over the steering wheel and nodded, taking some deep breaths of his own. He chuckled hysterically and brought his eyes back, apology now in them. “I’m sorry, I’m an ass. I don’t know why I’m being like this. Forgive me?”

“Okay,” I blushed. He reached across and nudged his nose against mine, and I held his cheeks in my hands, staring at his shut eyes. He took some more deep breaths.

“Forgive me?” His warm breath heated my veins.

“I do,” I said, my heartbeat probably as loud as my words. I wanted to tell him so many things in that moment. You know—that I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted any man, that he could trust me if he needed to, that I would be there for him. It just wasn’t the right time to, though, I knew it. “Shall we get that coffee? Jetlag is starting to kick my arse.”

He winked, “Sure.”

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REVIEWER THOUGHTS:

For once, and here I congratulate the author, each love scene was individual: not merely a rehash of the same actions such as we often read.

The author developed these characters so effortlessly, piecing their back stories together as the plot progressed. The mysterious nature of ALL of the characters throughout was quite thrilling and kept me guessing all the way to the end.

I really enjoyed the well-written story and quickly fell in love with the characters, twists and turns. Will be reading all Sarah’s books now.

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Prologue

Connecticut, 2000

THE OUTLINE OF a petite woman dressed in a gauche ensemble grew bigger as she walked toward Cai. He inwardly groaned, Go away. Please, not her. She stomped across the uneven, old cemetery in her high heels, unceremoniously marching over long-forgotten graves to make her way to where he stood. He noticed her limousine loitering in the distance and reasoned the wake was long over. She’d be hacked off he missed it. Of course he’d purposely avoided the whole thing—fake smiles, apologies, pithy remarks from freeloading drunks and plain fakery from all corners. None of them knew the woman his mother really was. To most she was just a reclusive artist with a ton of secrecy surrounding her unusual lifestyle.

The last mourner there, his neck ached from fixing a constant gaze down into the ground beneath his feet. Tossed earth and red roses marred the gleaming white coffin and he wondered what the point of it all was. His mother wouldn’t know the difference, would she? Then again, he wondered what the point of life was some days.

All day heavy rain clouds had threatened to send him indoors and yet he remained, gazing down into that joyless hole that a man lurking nearby was impatient to fill. Now dusk, it was the dark that might toss him home.

Both parents, gone. The most recent, his mother.

For some reason, he couldn’t mourn. All day he’d willed even a few tears to come, but none had.

His aunt’s hand fell lightly on his shoulder and she tried to tug him away from that site. He knew she was talking but he didn’t hear her, not until she started shouting.

“I’ll have no more nonsense, d’ya hear me Cai? Indoors, now!” She ravaged his ears with a strong, cockney accent.

He thought this woman—his new guardian—crude and dislikable.

The night closed in fast but Cai still refused to leave. The undertaker waited in his truck nearby, talking rampantly on his cell, poised to finally get the job done. Several times that day, Cai had threatened to throw himself in with his mother if he wasn’t given enough time.

There’d never be enough time.

Aunt Jennifer had only just turned up in his life though for years his mother had raved about her incessantly, telling him how glamorous and travelled and individual she was.

“I just learned it’ll be me who oversees your financial affairs, Cai.” He didn’t miss the cool tone of her voice when she said his name, like he was a duty and not a person. “Best start the way we mean to go on… you… being behaved, I mean.”

“Why you?” His teenage voice squeaked slightly, only just broken. “Didn’t Mom leave the lawyers in charge?”

“I don’t know, Cai. Your mother was strange but maybe she did make one sound decision,” she told him firmly. “I’m family… I’m not a faceless pen pusher.”

I’d take one of those any day, he thought.

Fourteen years old and orphaned—all he had left was an aunt he didn’t know and a house full of bad memories.

“I don’t want to stay here. That place,” he said in a rush and gestured to his mother’s mansion nearby, “gives me the creeps.”

She licked her painted lips. “Lucky for you I just landed a job in New York City; they have the best schools anyway I’d bet.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. Escape. Freedom. Somewhere different. That Georgian estate he’d grown up on was full of ghosts and secrets.

The looming white building could be seen from his current hillside vantage point and he didn’t know what was worse—living in a place of nightmares or staring out of the window at the consequences up on the hill.

“We’ll keep the house running… maybe offer it as a wedding venue. Keep it in the family, so to speak.”

“For now, maybe. Later, I’ll demolish it,” he replied.

“We’ll see. This could be an earner for you, love,” she said calmly, but the fingers she kept at his shoulder dug in painfully.

He turned to look at his aunt and saw through the dramatic black veil she wore. All that make-up and elegance, all that poise and style, yet he recognised people by nature were all the same beneath.

He kicked the earth, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “When I come of age I’ll sell, or better still, have every brick removed and taken elsewhere. I’ll smash it to pieces, bit by bit!”

She scoffed, seemingly unflustered. “Huh, well, we’ll see. There’s a clause, old fashioned but… you’ve inherited as a minor so you’ve to marry to inherit otherwise you won’t get the money before your twenty-fifth birthday.”

“Typical,” he mumbled, stalking away as soon as the first, tender splashes of rain tumbled down. The undertaker cursed desperately in the background, threatening all sorts.

“My sister wouldn’t have wanted you to sell,” she shouted over his shoulder. “She loved this place.”

His mother and aunt British-born, Claudia was the elder sister and had inherited the estate in Connecticut from her father’s elder brother. Claudia’s decision to leave London meant the sisters lost touch somewhat and it was in America that Claudia met Philippe Cortez, Cai’s father—the couple’s volatile partnership something Jennifer never approved of.

Cai and Jennifer were all that remained of a family which from the outside appeared to live fast, and die young.

She caught up with his strides, warning, “I’d advise you not to carry your father’s name, my boy. A man as notorious as him, well now… you don’t want to be tarred by the same brush. I’ll say you were my sister’s love child. I’ll say… well, I’ll make stuff up. After all nobody really knows what went on here, do they? We cannot have people thinking you are your daddy’s son. Do you understand?”

He nodded slowly alongside her, labouredly, and she repeated, “Tell me you understand?”

“I understand.” My father was a bad man.                           

They climbed into the waiting limousine and Cai hoped they were only going back to the house to pack their bags. He watched the skies open as she continued to dictate to him, the driver setting off without need of instruction.

“I won’t have any mucking about Cai, d’ya hear me? The life you knew is over. You’ll go to school and out into the world for a change. There’ll be no more hiding, d’ya understand me? You’re a clever lad and you’ll do well. You’ll behave and that’s all there is to it… you and me will get on grand if you just behave, hmm?”

He nodded slowly, not caring to show his inward pleasure. He’d been desperate to escape for so long, the smile threatening to break over his face hurt—even though he thought this woman was out of line talking to him that way. Like a child. He’d seen things that made a boy a man.

Jennifer knew he’d had a strange upbringing and she was going to remedy that. The nightmare of the past fourteen years was officially over—and she’d saved him from that in some part, when she could have left him with the servants.

Cai would sell the estate as soon as he got chance, or burn it to the ground. If nothing else, he would at least have every rose on site destroyed so that they never grew again.

He’d wait until he could be free of his aunt—who was just another reminder. Hell, he might even consider getting married.

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EXCERPT FROM THE SENTIENT…UNITY VOL.4

the sentient

It’s blackout and the streets are empty but I am running about like it’s the old days, a gun in each hand. Silencers on. I’m without any armor but we don’t use any. We’re invincible; that’s what we have been taught. I feel unnaturally strong and alert, aware. Yet deadened, somewhat. My lack of concern stems from some source I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s filling my veins with an erratic pulse of blood, potent with the need to move and perform. Meanwhile my thoughts are foggy but I am seeing things with clarity, if that’s possible. It’s as though I have been trained to not think, but still see. And see, I do.

I watch while a pair of nonentities scurry into a sewer. They’re no concern. They look like they could barely rub a penny together, if pennies were still in existence. Rats fill gutters at this time; it’s like they have evolved to know when humans are inside, and they can come out. They know the dark means safety. In what world do we live in, when the dark is more attractive than the light?

I am running still, the exertion nothing to me. My body was highly strung before they got hold of me, before they placed me in their program and made me their weapon.

I know my destination and what I’ll do when I get there but my thoughts have been dulled, like I said, and I can’t quite reconcile the meaning of this mission. Its priority doesn’t make sense to me, not in the back of my mind. I am just following orders.

Having made it to the building in question (my destination) I stow my guns away. I didn’t encounter any adversaries on the way which is strange. Usually there are a few dissidents out at this time of night, in wait, ready to take someone like me down. They know emissaries, oh, they recognize us. We’re the only ones without fear, without armor. We carry weapons and identities nobody else can get.

At street level, I take out my Clever-Grips and strap them on. I climb to the eighth floor and slide inside an open window. There in the apartment, I find a terrible scene waiting for me; a man beaten almost to death, laid sprawled on the carpeted floor; furniture tossed around and glass broken. I’m not sure what to do but thoughts that were suppressed come to the fore.

I see three others like me and they are stood over the target, who’s in a mess. The man’s wild eyes are darting though he can’t move his body. My eye registers several broken bones, wounds that won’t heal and the shock on his face when he sees it’s me. His eyes briefly dart to a photograph on a desk near the window and I see a woman’s face. I realize she may be in the room, or she may be on her way, or he may be trying to tell me she’s why he’s let them do this. She got away while he fought. I don’t know for sure but I see in his eyes, he only cares she’s safe. He is at peace to some extent. He is begging me to save him from more pain, and without thought, I hold out my weapon and shoot.

He’s not hurting, anymore. I know that.

The others register the kill and one of them mumbles into his radio, ‘Target down.’

Just like that.

My colleagues don’t rebuke me for ending a life before we got chance to interrogate him first. Neither do they bring it up that we could have shown him his own entrails – some of Officium’s dogs have done that before, for fun.

Killing is our business. So they don’t seem too unhappy. He’s dead, so what? I see that thought in their murky expressions.

We all pile out of the apartment together, heading for the stairs down.

I stand between these other men who bear no remorse, no emotion.

None of us speak. We’re all piles of meat employed to kill and perform.

Yet I know.

One thing, I know.

I am still sentient, to some extent.

In fact, I may the only sentient one amongst them.

THE OPERATOR

THE SENTIENT’S RELEASE TBC….

PLEASE NOTE THE SENTIENT IS VOLUME FOUR, VOLUME THREE THE OPERATOR IS OUT… TOMORROW!!!

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TEASER…TEASER…TEASER

This is the PROLOGUE from my new novel A Fine Pursuit, releasing November 1st…

 

Noah stands on the periphery observing the chaos. He vaguely sees two people warring and yet his own mental conflict rages louder. Something is mixing with the blood and adrenalin pumping around his body – but he refuses to be provoked. He feels dizzy and out of control; sick with a sense of terrible foreboding. He is paralysed by an innate and dreadful fear.

The memory dissipates and he is somewhere else, far, far away from that scene. He has her in his arms. He takes a deep, satisfying breath of her hair and holds her close. The peace she affords him obliterates all those reminders of the ordeal. The woman he loves feels so soft and gentle against his much larger, harder body. She nuzzles her nose in his chest and waves of joy flow through his heart and stomach so that nothing hurts, no bad ever happened. The daily struggle to avoid his torment has been completely eradicated.

He blinks. Then in a mere moment, he is back in the cavernous depths of his subconscious mind. He suffers anguish beyond anything the ordinary man may experience throughout an entire lifetime. His large frame trembles with unforgiving loathing and he has no control again. His impulses are a menace. They wage a war against the educated man inside him that wants to break the pattern and be something better, something healthier and more wholesome. He just never managed it.

He hears the smash of bones and sees the twisted neck of the person at his feet. Her eyes are wide open, bloodshot, yet lifeless.

A voice echoing inside his head taunts him: You are responsible.

***

Noah wakes up in a cold sweat, bolting up out of bed. He knows only that he feels numb and the crushing, strangulating desolation is hard to break free of. It was a dream, just a dream. He falls back down in bed, curling into a ball, and wishes Charlotte were with him. Ever since she left, he has been alone, tormented and reminded.

He undid her; she undid him.

Though she might be surviving, he is slowly falling into the pits of despair.

 

A FINE PROFESSION (the first of the chambermaid’s tales) IS CURRENTLY ON SALE…

Excerpt from Beneath the Veil… one of my personal favourites

The milliner had been given only two hours to deal with her target. She had arranged it so that he would come to her. It was imperative she got in, and got out. She couldn’t risk her identity. As far as the authorities knew, she wasn’t even in the country, so being caught would spell certain catastrophe for not only her – but the cause too.

She was dressed casually, and with her hair pulled back into a tight bun, she looked just like any other library frequenter – except for the black ballet pumps laced firmly around her ankles – easier to perform in. No-one would presume that she was one of the deadliest creatures on the planet.

She sat at the end of a long, wide, wooden desk, reading Balzac quietly, with a polystyrene cup containing her espresso to hand. Even though she could barely see her surroundings, she resisted the temptation to switch on one of the desk lights, knowing the dim lighting would allow her more of the element of surprise. This part of the New York Public Library, the rare books section – with its crowded shelves but few visitors – was deserted save for her.

Like clockwork, he appeared. Smart navy-striped suit, possibly Saville Row. Grey hair, broad shoulders, bulky physique. There were three desks between hers and the one he had chosen to sit at.

******

As far as he was concerned, he was finally getting to meet a representative of the group he had risked so much for. He had sold out some good people to finally get his fingers in a few pies. This was everything he had ever wanted. Money, power, success. He could smell it, taste it almost, and he wore his best suit for the occasion. That morning, when he got the message to meet, he had not thought for a second that he would be placing himself in danger. He was not even concerned that the message came from an unknown source. He was simply overtaken by excitement at finally getting what he deserved. Status.

He had joined the resistance to get knowledge of their inner workings, hoping it would gain him respect from Officium if he could find out enough about their enemy. He was fed up of being an underachiever, a mediocre excuse for a man, and a disappointment to his wife and son. He’d never been fit and strong enough to become an agent, since a childhood illness left him without his left foot. He needed more than to be a simple tailor, in a dwindling and dying market. When a client of his, Hamish Maddon, told him about a resistance group he knew of, he had leapt on the opportunity to get in on it. He made promises about using his clientele to gather information. But he had secretly had a very sinister, ulterior motive. He had unwittingly given up Maddon, who had died along with his wife, after he had revealed the location of RAO’s meetings in New   York. However, he had not carried out the act, so as far as he was concerned, he was without sin or recrimination. He simply knew he needed more from life, that’s all, and now he was there – deliriously expectant.

A mildly attractive woman suddenly appeared before him, standing with a book in hand. She smiled sweetly and asked, ‘Excuse me, but do you have the time? I can’t seem to find a single clock in this place.’

‘Of course,’ looking down at his watch, he said, ‘It’s a quarter to two.’

‘Thanks so much, that’s very kind of you.’ She continued smiling at him and stayed standing there. He felt it would be too rude to ask her if there was anything else, but his contact could arrive at any moment, and he became anxious.

She noted, ‘I hear the police are making headway into finally getting hold of the person responsible for the Maddon killings. You know, the heart surgeons? Apparently their loss will now mean at least four dozen people will have to wait six months longer for bypasses.’

He looked up at her face, shock spreading across his. He wondered, but it couldn’t possibly be… He had been so careful… hadn’t he? He nervously stood up. He looked into her eyes, but he struggled to gauge what was behind them. She stood there with hardly any expression whatsoever. That scared him more than anything.

‘Who are you?’ he asked.                                                                                    

‘I’m a friend of the dressmaker. You might have heard of her?’

He wanted to bolt out of the place. He was desperate to just start running.

‘Yes, it was a grave shame about the Maddons. Their daughter is without both her parents now. Imagine that, a young woman without her mum and dad. Being without one would certainly be bad enough, but without both…’

She didn’t seem intimidating, standing there casually holding her book between both hands in front of her. However, her words almost shocked the life out of him. He started to move away from behind the desk to make his escape. However, her book suddenly fell and he was drawn by its flight toward the floor.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an almost inhuman shadow move with incredible velocity. She leapt up onto the desk he had moved away from, suddenly threw her body in the air and expertly sent a foot crashing into his chest to ensure he had taken his last breath. Then there was nothing. His mass fell to the floor, and she walked toward the exit to the stairwell.