I Feel Very Much Like Camille Sometimes…

Chapter 9 of BENEATH THE VEIL….

 

Camille paced about the flat as she spoke, while Seraph lay on the sofa as if she were undergoing a session with her psychiatrist.

‘You may have heard my codename whispered about just as much as Eve’s was. I am the milliner.

‘I was raised in an orphanage on the outskirts of Paris after my parents died in the Ravage. Like you, I had no brothers or sisters, and so I became a creature of solitude, preferring not to entangle myself emotionally. What happened in 2023 was terrifying, but for the children, even more so. Some lost their siblings, some their parents, most their grandparents. I had not a single person left in the world. It seemed as if we had all been born merely to suffer and to try and survive as best we could with what we were left with.’

Seraph saw Camille try to shake off some fraught remembrance, before she continued:

‘At the orphanage, I realised my forte for sewing and it’s something I went on to pursue. And so at age eighteen I left the suburbs behind after winning a scholarship to attend the Parisian School of Art and Design, graduating in 2034. After that, I spent years travelling the world, making garments to sell on the streets, randomly moving from one place to another. I begged, borrowed and sometimes even stole to keep food in my stomach and clothes on my back. I fell in with a street gang in Budapest and we moved from one place to another together, doing whatever we needed to in order to overcome the noose Officium had hung around the world. For at least five years, I had no fixed address whatsoever. It didn’t bother me sleeping on the streets, or in alleyways, or on someone’s cold floor. I’d never known comfort, and so, it was normal to me. I woke up every day knowing that the search for food came second to my need for excitement. I’d grown extremely tough and people back then knew me as something of a scrapper. Looking back, I realise I was desperately seeking my place in the world. I always knew that there was only one person I could rely on and soon friendships broke down, loyalties became divided and I broke free. An attempt to spring a group of factory workers from their bonds went wrong and I decided it was time to put some distance between myself and Europe, taking myself off to the Orient.’

Camille glanced at Seraph with animation as she turned her mind to the next chapter of her life.

‘In Japan, I found my second home. There, I appreciated the culture, the society and their way of living. It was even more cramped than in Paris but that didn’t matter to me. Living in a pod was luxury compared to my previous habitations! I developed a friendship with a sensei, after he bought up some of my silk dresses for his daughters. He was a tiny, unassuming man, devoted to his wife and family. His clan were brave enough to live in some abandoned farmland just outside Tokyo and one day he invited me to his humble abode for dinner. I was struck not only by his generous hospitality, but also by his family’s skills in Shotokan Karate. There were literally hundreds of trophies dotted around their shack, dating from as far back as the Seventies. At that time, he was the only person in the world to have reached his eleventh Dan, a grandmaster of unparalleled skill, agility, strength and speed – but something of a pariah. I asked one of his daughters to show me her skills, and she nearly broke my back as she grappled me to the ground with one fell swoop. I was so impressed, I begged him to teach me everything he knew. He refused at first, but I was persistent. For weeks, I laboriously cycled from the city to his home every day, turning up with more gifts for his daughters. Each time he turned me away, I refused to be dissuaded. Then one day, he relented, and my tutelage began in the boggy rice fields at the back of his home.

‘The fertile green surroundings and the prolonged and unforgiving rain became the backdrop and the dojo of my lessons – and my enemy. Barefoot and dressed sparingly, I took a lot of blows at the will of his hand. He nearly knocked the life out of me as my face was continually pushed into the cold, life-draining, damp mud. While the family ate their meals together inside, I was left out in the cold in my makeshift bamboo shelter to survive on decaying vegetables and dried fish. I nearly gave up so many times. But that would have been the easy way, and that had never been an option for me. I knew that as long as I had breath and strength left in me, I would never break.

‘I still remember so clearly the relentless circuit training in the unforgiving earth of those fields, and performing press-ups while he stood on my back taunting me with abuse, saying I was just another pathetic woman who would break against his will. Each taunt made me more determined, more resistant to failure, and I began to feel invincible. I rose above the idea of being weakened by my human form. After mastering the basics, I had grown so physically and mentally strong that when it came to combat, the process wasn’t a conscious experience for me. My very first attempt to smash through a wooden plank was successful, easy even. Until you actually participate in the disciplines of martial arts with a humble approach, an open mind and a full heart, you can never understand the mentality it enables you to develop. Once the mind has been broken, and rebuilt, you can become whatever you want to be. If you will something to be so, it must be. My body became a highly-tuned force of rigidity, and I was no longer a creature of reaction, more one of calm and serenity, allowing the world to wash over my being. The key is not to react, merely to retain strength. Unless it was really necessary to perform, only then would I execute myself, and if so, only absolute exhibition of one’s skills would suffice. Sensei Toshiro entered me into some national competitions, and I won every single one. He and I formed a bond that went beyond the one he shared with his family even. We were equal souls existing on a level plane, and even a whisper of breath from one of us revealed to the other what we were thinking or feeling; we were so in tune with one another.

‘However, knocking my opponents out soon became too easy, and I tired of my life in Japan. I began to yearn for the streets of Paris back home, and I returned there in 2041 after several years of living from hand to mouth, from country to country.

‘I maintain my discipline and still spar and meditate every day even now. It was something that I knew would never leave me. Many members of RAO have been taught by me, and I’ve now reached my eighth Dan, something I never asked for nor brag about, because it is simply a testament to all the wonders that martial arts have enabled me to enjoy – friendship, discipline and freedom from fear.

‘After returning home from Japan, I got by selling millinery on the streets of Montmartre, until one day an elegant Englishwoman turned up and bought everything on my table. She noticed my shabby clothes and unwashed appearance, declaring, “How can someone of your talent be so undervalued?”

‘At first I was reluctant to latch on to her friendliness, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer when she insisted on buying me dinner that night. She offered me a job at the bridal house then and there, and I asked, “What makes you think I want to work for you?” She gave me that stern look of hers, and simply said, “Because I know a woman of your calibre will be indispensable and instrumental to my cause.” I was instantly intrigued, and she began to explain how she’d heard from Sensei Toshiro that I’d left Japan and come back to Europe. He was part of the resistance and had not stopped exclaiming to her about how good a combatant I had become. Then she had some revelations that I wasn’t expecting. She informed me that my mother and father had been in the French Secret Service, a fact I knew nothing about until she disclosed it to me. She placed a file on the restaurant table and I looked it over with interest and horror. However, I began to get some sense of my identity and I realised my similar pursuit of thrills and adventure was something I’d undoubtedly got from them. They were not killed by the Ravage, but by Officium, and I knew as clearly as I see you now, that my lot was to join Eve’s efforts. I moved to York and settled for a quiet but purposeful life, helping her make this place more successful than either of us could have ever imagined. Many of our members met and married through the work they carried out for Eve, and the women became clients at the shop. However, don’t let that overshadow her success Seraph. She still had dozens and dozens of customers who came from the farthest corners of the globe to have their wedding dresses made by her. I suppose it was the romance of this building that drew them here, but also the relatively small fee she charged for them to have a gown made from scratch, and to their exact specifications. Her decision to remain open amidst a world of declining craftsmanship somehow paid dividends, and for once, refusing to follow a trend proved unbelievably canny. There were still a lot of people who had managed to find happy lives for themselves, but they were very few and far between after the Ravage.’

Camille took a deep breath and continued, ‘Now she’s gone, I have no idea how I will carry on without her. She was the bedrock of this place, and it simply won’t be the same without her. I loved her dearly, and I never expected to feel so sad about her loss. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought anyone could be as good a friend to me as she was. I never thought such kindness existed in the world until I met her. She was the ultimate person, ultimate woman, ultimate warrior even.

‘She never mentioned him by name, but I knew she’d known great love during her lifetime. It was written all over her face sometimes. A woman who has been loved truly has a certain look about her, one of heightened knowledge and undeniable mystery. She lost that great love, and it is that which made her what she was. But I cannot tell you anymore than that.’

When Camille finished her explanation, she fell on the coffee table in front of Seraph. Her head bowed, she began to cry, sniffing and dripping with tears. Seraph got up off the sofa and knelt down, taking Camille in her arms. They played mother and daughter to one another, and Seraph’s mind turned to one thing – when had this love affair taken place, what happened to him and also to her own parents? She didn’t want to launch a barrage of questions at Camille, who was obviously grieving and was just as forlorn as she over Eve’s passing. She decided she would find out for herself what had happened, even if it killed her, and she would finally lay all this to rest. She didn’t care what it took, she would do it. It was time.

 

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An excerpt from A Fine Profession…

Chambermaid’s Rule No.3

Anticipation Is Paramount

 

 

My Initiate this day deserved a harsh lesson. He seemed so certain of my compliance and I was determined to thwart all his hopes.

“Tell me again, why are we doing this?” he asked.

“Were you not advised, it is not wise to question, but to simply administer to me in whatever manner I deem necessary, in order for you to receive the service in its purest, most effective form.”

“Why do you talk like that?” the disobedient man asked.

“If you question me again, I will leave. I have no cause or desire to be here with you. I ask your silence now and if it is broken, I will end our time abruptly.”

He nodded, subservient.

“Now, sir, please, let me just get comfortable.”

The Initiate was tied at the wrists and ankles, splayed and bound on his back, completely naked. His pale body was fresh and blemish-free. He was young and lithe, very tall and slender. He was impetuous and naive, however; possibly an ambitious man of my own age, who had already made significant steps up the rung of his chosen ladder. I knew the type. He was attractive and ripe for the plucking, but this was always the way. I always had to resist; proving my love for my Master.

 

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A Serious Part of My Erotic Novel

This is a window into my heroine’s mind and why she seeks sexual adventures most of us can only dream of…

I was different because I understood when it counted. I had the advantage of having stared death in the face. The lingering memory of dull pain, plus physical and emotional exhaustion, was swimming in some chasm in a far-off land, a burning ember in a junkyard of flammable old sofas, waiting to ignite a disaster zone at any moment. All the idling, petty thoughts of others, they wearied me. I was cut off from everyone who had not battled the same burdens. I was alone and misunderstood. I was different. I was a statistic. I would be judged unless I told my story and I did not want pity. No. Not that. So, I did whatever it took to remain hidden, or unseen: a ghostly spectre that swished in and out of hotel rooms, taking comfort in my inconspicuousness. A behind-the-scenes girl who was happy enough in her own private achievements. I did not need questions or queries, interrogation or intervention. I needed to stay hidden. Bury the pain deep down, manifest it any other way, just not face it. Not that.

 

A Fine Profession, eBook out now on Amazon UK and US and beyond…

The first rule of Lottie…. eBook out Friday 12th July

Chambermaid’s Rule No.1

The Ruse

 

 

“Housekeeping!”

The Chambermaid marched into the suite, where a man stood by his bed for the night, freeing the small suitcase that sat atop the mattress of its contents. He glanced sideways, a little nervously, and acknowledged the woman.

He muttered, “Erm, I didn’t…”

“Pardon for the intrusion, sir, we messed up. Your bathroom wasn’t crossed off the list. Seems it didn’t receive the proper cleaning. Every bathroom has to be steam cleaned between guests’ stays.”

“God, listen, it doesn’t matter. I don’t really care about that.”

“Sorry, it’s a health and safety policy. Unless you want another room…”

“Get on with it then,” he grunted, desperate for her to just get out.

“Thanks,” she enthused, grateful. She wheeled in her trolley of cleaning goods, taking it toward the open door of the bathroom. She clattered and clunked about over the kinks in the hotel carpet and heard a barely audible tut escape his mouth. Without him knowing, she was assessing his demeanour and behaviour. She was already getting a picture of the man’s tastes and desires from his almost unreadable body language. Today’s client was an unwitting servant who would not know that he had been set up (his wife had organised Lottie as an anniversary treat).

She dove in the bathroom and as she shut the door, he glanced in her direction again but would not have caught a very good look at her face. She would seem to be a generic hotel-worker-type, with one of those unattractive, bland uniforms, plus lank hair and a colourless face.

In the bathroom, she knew he would hear the low whirring of her portable facial sauna. But to him, it would seem some kind of small machine she used to carry out her “steam-cleaning”. He would imagine so. Why wouldn’t he? Honestly. Why would he believe anything otherwise? She was just a bland hotel cleaner.

She peeked out between the door and saw him sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up his mobile phone and checked it, probably out of fretfulness. His wife had stayed behind at the bar a little longer than she said she would…

Lottie retreated back behind the door and recommenced work. With her face brightened, and hair moist, she looked different already. Radiant. She slicked back her hair. She applied false lashes. Easy. Bright red lipstick. Black eyeliner. She ripped off the baggy uniform to reveal her lingerie beneath. She slipped a pair of heeled shoes out of the cart and replaced her plimsolls with those. She shook her limbs into shape, leaving behind her former hunched demeanour, and became the Chambermaid.

She knew he would be waiting for her to get the hell out of there, finally. He was probably imagining all sorts of scenarios.

He tapped at the door gently and scared her.

“Are you done? If not, it doesn’t matter. In fact, I will pay you to leave right now. Please. My wife is going to be back any moment and this is meant to be a make-or-break night.”

At the ceasing of his desperate pleas, he heard a series of seemingly unfortunate events unfold behind the door. Bottles and towels tumbled down on the poor cleaner and she screeched, before assuring him, “I’m okay, I’m okay! Just had a little scare… Listen, mister, I have got a serious problem on my hands here. Found some cockroaches under the bathmat. Dead ones. You never know when two more may turn up for their funeral, however. This is real bad, mate, you know? Could close the hotel!”

She was desperately trying to remove shampoo from her leather corset.

“Shit!” he shouted.

“Listen, gimme a minute or so while I sort this.”

Behind the door, he had no idea what was going on. All the time, he was being drawn in further to the ruse, forced to occupy himself while he tried to patiently wait out the minutes and seconds this girl was potentially ruining his passionate expectations. She heard him switch on the TV set, apparently attempting to idle himself away with one dreary teatime show after another.

The bathroom door creaked open and she pushed her trolley out, clattering around again. He did not bother to look behind himself. He breathed a huge sigh of relief at her having finally finished her inconvenient hygiene intervention.

The door closed and he muttered with the remote doing his gesticulating, “Thanks love, you done?”

“I most certainly am sir,” she replied, in a deeper, sultrier tone. His ears pricked up immediately. His head spun slowly and all he saw was a sleek body, kitted out in leather and lace, heels and stockings. He saw it all out of the corner of his eye and his trousers stirred. He pieced all the events together and the realisation hit.

“I should have known it was you,” he chuckled. The element of surprise intrigued as much as aroused him.

“Now, sir, now, you have to do exactly as I say, beginning with closing your eyes.”

“Yes Chambermaid,” he agreed, turning the TV off and throwing the remote away. “Tell me what to do.”

“Keep those eyes closed otherwise there will be trouble…” she warned, huskily.

“They’re closed, they definitely, are, closed…”

 

(That’s the first and last time I will ever refer to the Chambermaid in the third person. She is me, was me, and always will be me. However, as we shall see, she is not the entire me…)

Becoming Beautiful

He broke a moment of calm by throwing me over unexpectedly, dragging me on my knees. He pulled himself up close behind me, and lifted my torso, so that we were facing the mirror with his body just behind mine. He slipped on another condom and pushed inside me. I breathed deeply, for he was large and I was sensitive. He rocked against me slowly and pulled on my hips to bring me toward him, wrapping his muscular arms around me. His body was perfectly sculpted from lengthy gym sessions and I felt fleshy in comparison.

“Look in the mirror Charlotte, you’re beautiful. Your breasts are a thing of majesty. Of artistry and wonder. Look at them.”

I watched in the mirror, hazily, as he moved inside me. His hands wandered over my breasts, bouncing and holding them, telling me I gave new meaning to the term Rubenesque.

“Put your arms up, behind yourself, behind my neck.”

I did and when I had, I saw what he was getting at. My arms raised, my breasts moved too, and the tips lifted so that I appeared smaller of shape and size, but still quite big. Those large, uncomfortable things that had sprouted and encouraged mental agony in my late teens now looked very different. He tweaked my nipples so I could see in the mirror, and my armpits looked feminine and dainty against the hefty glands. I turned my head and he kissed me deeply, longingly. He pulled my neck so I rested back against his shoulder and he trapped me there so I couldn’t observe anymore.

This is an excerpt from A Fine Profession, which is being released THIS FRIDAY!!

This is a scene in which my heroine finally discovers she is desirable and it is with someone quite unexpected…

A Sample of Lottie’s Exploits

I tapped his backside with the flat side of the crop, the knotted, plaited edge, and he moaned delightfully. I struck one cheek at a time, rather tamely, and continued my momentum. I moved around the table and he watched my body as I did, continually groaning in consent. I began striking his back, a little harder, and he groaned louder. The red slashes were reminders of my imprint. When he tired, I ceased, and he breathed his anguish away. The marks were superficial and would be gone by morning perhaps, but the temporary despair was overwhelming him. It was mixing too well with desire. I rolled him back over and his pouch was full.

What happened next? I was blindfolded as a mark of respect. Then I determined from their noises that the woman rode her husband backward cowgirl. He was excruciatingly aroused. He howled in the room and his wife was most pleased by my work. He was quite large when at full mast. I thrashed his chest as she drilled him and the dopamine and endorphins swilling around his veins caused him to have an intense, drawn-out, long-lasting orgasm of several minutes. The mature orgasms of life are exactly that: few and rarer but lengthier. Her own was intense as she used a bullet on her clitoris.

I went back to Flo’s that night terribly pent-up. All those scenes drew my own pleasure but did not taper them off. No. I needed my lovers for that. All this pleasure and entertainment was becoming so natural to me and the impersonal nature of it was what pleased me most. None of these people knew who I was.

A Fine Profession, released July 12th

Introducing the Lodge… what happens within those confines…?

A bell was rung and everyone began leaving the waiting area. Blinds were brought down over the windows all around and lights were dimmed. Men dressed in leather uniforms lit dozens of candelabra that streamed throughout the whole building. Everywhere was then tinged by flickering low-lighting. A deep, almost hibiscus, scent was present wherever you went and it was apparent the floors were regularly polished. There was little decoration in that house save for the ornate ceiling carvings, large beams and luxurious wood-panelled walls with forest creatures acting as fixtures for the gloomy lighting.

Dreamy, seductive chimes that were barely noticeable drifted through the halls and acted as an almost silent background to the quietly chatting, nodding guests. It really did seem to be some sort of reverent gathering place for the sexually uninhibited. I felt an outsider, truly. I sought eyes that were assessing me but there were none. Everyone else seemed poised and unreserved. I had expected to be treated as an interloper perhaps but I was just as any other ‒ a body there for pleasure. I did not get myself noticed in my underwear, even. I mingled in. We were all sparingly dressed, even most men. Maybe that was why Mark wore the gown, as a sign of his prestigious ranking in the hierarchy of that place.

 

Excerpt from A Fine Profession. eBook release, July 12th

Chapter 1 – A Fine Profession

DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE NOT 18+

The consummate seductress sat cross-legged on a chaise longue that was as crimson as her feted heart. That secondary bed straddled a voluptuous, Moroccan-inspired, Axminster rug, which added a touch of colour to a boudoir dominated by dark oak. She took a moment to survey the lavish, candlelit bedchamber, which might once have housed Henry Tudor for a night, for all she knew. It was just like many other sanctuaries she had grown accustomed to and those workaday environs no longer held any romance for her. They were as much a part of the illusion as she was. Read more

Excerpt from Beneath the Veil… one of my personal favourites

The milliner had been given only two hours to deal with her target. She had arranged it so that he would come to her. It was imperative she got in, and got out. She couldn’t risk her identity. As far as the authorities knew, she wasn’t even in the country, so being caught would spell certain catastrophe for not only her – but the cause too.

She was dressed casually, and with her hair pulled back into a tight bun, she looked just like any other library frequenter – except for the black ballet pumps laced firmly around her ankles – easier to perform in. No-one would presume that she was one of the deadliest creatures on the planet.

She sat at the end of a long, wide, wooden desk, reading Balzac quietly, with a polystyrene cup containing her espresso to hand. Even though she could barely see her surroundings, she resisted the temptation to switch on one of the desk lights, knowing the dim lighting would allow her more of the element of surprise. This part of the New York Public Library, the rare books section – with its crowded shelves but few visitors – was deserted save for her.

Like clockwork, he appeared. Smart navy-striped suit, possibly Saville Row. Grey hair, broad shoulders, bulky physique. There were three desks between hers and the one he had chosen to sit at.

******

As far as he was concerned, he was finally getting to meet a representative of the group he had risked so much for. He had sold out some good people to finally get his fingers in a few pies. This was everything he had ever wanted. Money, power, success. He could smell it, taste it almost, and he wore his best suit for the occasion. That morning, when he got the message to meet, he had not thought for a second that he would be placing himself in danger. He was not even concerned that the message came from an unknown source. He was simply overtaken by excitement at finally getting what he deserved. Status.

He had joined the resistance to get knowledge of their inner workings, hoping it would gain him respect from Officium if he could find out enough about their enemy. He was fed up of being an underachiever, a mediocre excuse for a man, and a disappointment to his wife and son. He’d never been fit and strong enough to become an agent, since a childhood illness left him without his left foot. He needed more than to be a simple tailor, in a dwindling and dying market. When a client of his, Hamish Maddon, told him about a resistance group he knew of, he had leapt on the opportunity to get in on it. He made promises about using his clientele to gather information. But he had secretly had a very sinister, ulterior motive. He had unwittingly given up Maddon, who had died along with his wife, after he had revealed the location of RAO’s meetings in New   York. However, he had not carried out the act, so as far as he was concerned, he was without sin or recrimination. He simply knew he needed more from life, that’s all, and now he was there – deliriously expectant.

A mildly attractive woman suddenly appeared before him, standing with a book in hand. She smiled sweetly and asked, ‘Excuse me, but do you have the time? I can’t seem to find a single clock in this place.’

‘Of course,’ looking down at his watch, he said, ‘It’s a quarter to two.’

‘Thanks so much, that’s very kind of you.’ She continued smiling at him and stayed standing there. He felt it would be too rude to ask her if there was anything else, but his contact could arrive at any moment, and he became anxious.

She noted, ‘I hear the police are making headway into finally getting hold of the person responsible for the Maddon killings. You know, the heart surgeons? Apparently their loss will now mean at least four dozen people will have to wait six months longer for bypasses.’

He looked up at her face, shock spreading across his. He wondered, but it couldn’t possibly be… He had been so careful… hadn’t he? He nervously stood up. He looked into her eyes, but he struggled to gauge what was behind them. She stood there with hardly any expression whatsoever. That scared him more than anything.

‘Who are you?’ he asked.                                                                                    

‘I’m a friend of the dressmaker. You might have heard of her?’

He wanted to bolt out of the place. He was desperate to just start running.

‘Yes, it was a grave shame about the Maddons. Their daughter is without both her parents now. Imagine that, a young woman without her mum and dad. Being without one would certainly be bad enough, but without both…’

She didn’t seem intimidating, standing there casually holding her book between both hands in front of her. However, her words almost shocked the life out of him. He started to move away from behind the desk to make his escape. However, her book suddenly fell and he was drawn by its flight toward the floor.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an almost inhuman shadow move with incredible velocity. She leapt up onto the desk he had moved away from, suddenly threw her body in the air and expertly sent a foot crashing into his chest to ensure he had taken his last breath. Then there was nothing. His mass fell to the floor, and she walked toward the exit to the stairwell.